Distance

My four-year old was cutting flips on the sofa, again. Although I explained to her the danger of her actions, at some point I had to deliver on my promise to reward for her disobedience. Minutes after the painstaking responsibility of administering the spanking, I knelt to tie her shoelace. Tears streaming down her angelic face, she threw her arms around my neck. "Mommy, I'm so sorry. Can you please forgive me?" Attentively awaiting my response, I replied, “Of course, I forgive you." I kissed her gently on her forehead and she ran out to join her siblings in the playroom.

Looking back, I realize this isolated incident could very well offer us understanding to our mutually dependent relationship to God. The offer of compassion, kneeling to tie my daughter's shoe was an offer to bridge the gap of time. As parents we often make peace offerings to our children when we need to close the gap of time a part, physically or emotionally. As so with God, His compassion offers us grace and mercy. God never delights in delivering punishment. He is faithful to be merciful and just.

The Bible lays out the consequences of our actions. As children of God we must seek His will, by reading His word and living according to it. God’s expectations are clear and the Holy Spirit is our guide.

Is there hidden sin in your life? If so you might feel distant from God at times, perhaps there are times when you can’t hear Him, See Him or feel His Presence.

Just as with our children, our sin causes us to become disconnected from Him. This spiritual divide should cause a desire in us to be reconciled to Him. We should yearn to be near God. As with our children, especially the young ones, we must teach them about forgiveness and help them to understand that we will always love them and our desire is to be reconciled with them. However, the boundaries must be clear in how we administer discipline, direction and expectations for them.

...unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

God requires us to come unto Him as a little child. God promises to never leave us nor forsake us. So when there seems to be a divide we must determine the culprit. Sin in our lives prevents us from having an intimate relationship with God. We must allow God's plan to bring comfort to our hearts when we make decisions concerning our children. If you are having trouble parenting perhaps you should look into your personal relationship with God. Below are some other things that inhibit our relationship with God:

Unfaithfulness or inconsistency, double-mindedness produces distance between us and God.

Ungratefulness, when we fail to remember what God has done for us; we shift our priorities and adopt the out-of-sight out-of-mind syndrome. Continual praise and worship will usher in a new sense of appreciation to remind us of the many blessings God showers on us.

Misunderstanding; a lack of clarity can cause us to build up walls that separate us.

Routine and tradition also has a way of taking the life out of any relationship so we must be mindful that our relationship with God doesn't become a form of tradition.

Harboring unforgiveness; holding grudges for others can prevent us from having an intimate relationship with God.

Ultimately, God's symbiotic parent-child relationship that we have with Him is our pattern for success. His example for parenting will bring long-term benefits. The gesture between my daughter and I, reinforced our interdependent need for respect and affirmation. We both expressed our desire, her desire to act in a way that displeased me, and my desire for her to refrain from jumping on the sofa. In the end, she learned a valuable lesson, it's better to obey than to sacrifice her rear-end, in this case. We all learn that sometimes we delight in things that ultimately cause us pain. If we are not careful, the response of our children can inhibit us to carrying out God's order. Parents and children alike often suffer unintended consequences later in life when fear of dealing with what appears to be an excusable offense becomes a pattern and takes on a life of rebellion.

...let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Hebrews 10:22 NLT


Ultimately, we must seek God's pattern for parenting. God not only encourages and rewards our actions, but He also makes His expectations known and helps us to meet each challenge we face with victory. My responsibility is to raise my children to know God's standard for living a prosperous and purpose-filled life that brings glory to God.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 NIV

Several years ago my husband and I took a hard look at our parenting and we realized that what we felt was important doesn't always agree with God's way. So we committed to parent the hearts of our children with Christ as the teacher. Parents must be willing to allow God to discipline them when it comes to child rearing. He holds the future and the plans He has for us are perfect.

Parenting doesn't have to be a stream of trials and error, seek God and His infinite wisdom. Be determined not to live in fear of bringing distance between you and your children. Remember, God uses distance to evoke understanding that we have displeased Him. Let God be the final authority and He will deal with the consequences.


Say, As a parent I am part of God's divine plan for each of the children He placed in my care. He knows what they are designed to be and what they need. He purposely placed them in our care to carry out His mandate to raise them in the way they should go. Lord, give me your plan to develop healthy-hearted children that understand Your unfailing love, unmerited favor and Salvation purchased for us all through the blood of Jesus at the cross on Calvary. Reveal to me the hindrance of unhealthy expectations we place on them. Help me to deal with loss and fear of distance with our children. Lord I trust you to fulfill any needs I have and set my desires in order with your will. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

May the revelation to identifying key areas that bring distance between those who seek to have an earnest intimate relationship with the Father bring grace and a new courage to change. So as parents build their relationship with God, His plan for parenting His way will be revealed offering intimacy and wholeness for those grounded in truth to flourish in Christ so that the fruit is evident in their parenting and all area of their lives.

-a servant's heart

Disclaimer. A servant's utterance is copyright protected (c) 2011 a servant's heart and the information contained expresses personal views and values of a servant’s heart. The passage in its entirely may be forwarded or linked without consequence however, for any non-personal excerpt for print or publication should request consent from a servant's heart prior to use.